"I don't need you and your brand new benz"

How would you feel if someone you were sleeping with (on occasion) had a baby with someone else...?
Then named that baby the same name as you...
With only one letter different. Sky-LER, not -LAR

I cannot decide if I want to laugh, cry, hide under my covers, or be cool with it.

Not that this should matter to me...
He is NOT my boyfriend, or friend.
Just "the friend" of the guy my friend was talking to.
Wing woman plus "the friend" turned into mushy, sexy, "never going to date him" blurriness.
This guy is not the right fit for me.
Especially now....with the -LER out and about.

I mean.. the sex is out of this world.
As Drake would say..."Best I've ever had"
Hands DOWN.
I am so attracted to him.

But WHY? He is one of thoseeee guys,
The tan, the tribal tattoos, the Mercedes Benz, the cockiness.
The guy that you think your entire family would most likely despise.

In the bedroom. Can't get enough.
The intimate moments that nobody else could understand...
Looking into each others eyes, the laughing, the candles, the music.

Outside of the bedroom.
Have only considered it once or twice.

This is such a strange situation.
Letting the bootycalls go is the best direction to take..
But why am I texting back?
Giving in to the drama...
Curiosity of what could be?
Do I unintentionally go for "Mr. Unavailable"?

Why do I get attached to every person I meet?
I am not an alcoholic, nor a drug addict.
I am an emotional woman.
Who loves emotional people, emotional situations, and tying emotional feelings to anything that breathes..
Even if it most likely means nothing to the other person.
Do I make things deeper than they truly are?
Shallow relationships turned into relationships written for the movies?
I am probably bored...
Being single is....strange.
I just need normal. Simple.

Listening to Coldplay makes me SO EMO!
Sleeping this off.
Goodnight beauties -sky-LAR...
(Yeah I still can't get over it...) <33

Needy Neds

I am not a picky person when it comes to men.
I love big personalities, artsy types, smart men, funny men, tall men, little men...
However I do have a few "deal breakers".
1. Do not text me with "gangsta" slang
2, Please do not call everything "gay" when looking for a negative
3. Please do not be afraid of sweat.  (I already dated the gamer guy. I need adventure!)
Last but not least...
4. DO NOT BE NEEDY

I have been bombarded recently with an entirely new species of men... needy men.
Okay so some men will double text... but paragraphs confessing their need to get to know me or date me? Texting me again. And again. And again. 

"Hey"

"Good morning"

"What's up"

"Good night"

"Goodmorning"

Trust me I love attention just as much as the next girl. However, these past couple of guys need therapy. or to just go away...or need to begin reading "The Dating Guide for Clueless Men". There is a balance out there, trust me...text me but please wait for a reply. If I don't reply in a certain amount of time, I am probably busy. Damn, maybe I'm at work or doing my hair or HEY maybe on the POTTY. I may sound harsh, or rude, or ungrateful for the kind compliments and greetings...However, I am not. I just am allergic to this type of man....the needy man.

"Just Too Juicy"

It is almost midnight

I am currently sitting on my bed Indian style

Pillow pet being used as an arm rest

Hello Kitty PJ pants on

Hair in an unruly side pony

Yes I am an adult I swear it...

Okay I may still be a kid/pre-teen/moody teenager at heart. But I think that's what makes me more interesting...right?

So last month I visited my dad and step-mom in Portland Oregon, my home away from home.

I bonded with my step-mom who ended up being pretty rad once I got over my weird step daughter "Don't you dare try and steal my Daddy away" complex.

One night on the way to get some organic ice cream (this is Portland mind you) I was telling my step-mom about this guy Bobby (we won't use real names). I dated Bobby for a short while, about three months. It was perfect, every date was up to "The Bachelorette" standards, fireworks included. Well he ended things out of the blue because he was "abnormally mature" and I was not..(cough cough commitment issues...but that's beside the point).

I have been dealing with the rejection of this tan beautiful man, slowly but surely. (IT HAS BEEN MONTHS by the way).

I mean that shiny smile and those abs of steal are burnt into my brain.

And Bobby singing "Wouldn't It Be Nice" by The Beach Boys naked in bed after breathtaking sex is probably one of my top 10 memories...but yes um... like I said I am dealing with this rejection...slowly...but ummm surely...

Anyway, I was telling her about Bobby briefly, because it comes up like word vomit to every woman (and guy friend) that I know. She began to tell me something that I will never forget...

So I guess someone told her a long time ago, when she was telling THEM about a jack ass of a guy that SHE used to date, that she was "just too juicy for him"... and this doesn't mean she was too fat or anything like that. 

Juicy as in personality...

She tells me that maybe I too, am "just too juicy" for Bobby...

I love that... suddenly my lack of maturity, my spending addiction, my impulsive tendencies, my free spirit, my pillow pet I cuddle with every night all seem less young and immature...But more well... JUICY.

Bobby was beautiful and everything I could have ever wished for...

But sometimes us colorful, fun, juicy girls just aren't boring enough for those Ken doll types...

On to the next one...

Goodnight universe -Sky

Early Morning Thoughts (time to blog more seriously?)

Good Morning! I am feeling surprisingly positive today (after a shower and a bottle of water later...hangover head ache disappearing)

I went out last night with an old friend from high school,  it had been a little over four years since I had last seen him. It was quite the reunion, aside from running into an obnoxious guy I have been avoiding downtown, I haven't laughed so hard in a very long time.

My adorably funny friend, who is strangely like the gay male version of myself,  is bouncing back from a bad breakup, becoming healthier, independent, and on a continuous journey of self love. Sounds like someone I know... cough cough.

It has been years since my falling out with my ex boyfriend, and talking to my friends last night it got me thinking. I hadn't realized how far I have come, I mean...

Yes, I still make mistakes
Yes, I don't have a man
Yes, I could be making more money
Yes, I am still finding my bliss
Yes, I could stop snacking on pieces of cake at work (I am a baker, so naturally I eat sugar on the daily)

But I am a work in progress. Every day is a chance to improve myself. I could have avoided the Jack in the Box drive through last night on my way home. I could have NOT eaten those greasy spicy tacos of mystery meat and crunchy curly fries of doom. BUT HEY sometimes a girl needs to eat like the stoner she used to be (yes I am having much food regret, and still trying to cope).

Going to start blogging more, I feel like taking you all along with me on this part of my life...the newly improved, less trainwreck-ey version of myself. Probably venting about my so-called problems, experiences with men, and making a mess of things because I simply have a fear of stability.

Now I am simply ranting away, I need to get ready for work, possibly go on a quick hike to melt off those tacos. EW.

If you're reading this Thank you! Eat healthy today...& do NOT go to Jack in the Box. You will just feel like a blob of...well fake tacos. Enjoy the day! xoxo -Sky